Back from NC and I am contemplating my behavior. I have come to this conclusion; I am a dragon.
Why is it when I get together with extended family I am at my worst? We were all there to honor my brother's memory, emotions running high I know, yet I breathed fire. My attitude almost caused us to leave a day early, but the transmission in the van seemed to be acting up. So I ended up having to apologize for comments I made--which I hate doing, but nevertheless felt compelled/obligated by conviction to render. The following day, the day we were supposed to leave, the van ran smoothly with no issues at all. Go figure...do you think God gave me the extra time to repent?
The moments that shone despite me are as follows: the beauty of the Appalachian mountains in autumn; the amount of people that came to honor Kerry's memory, those that spoke and the songs Joe sang, feeling the grit of my brother's remains on the urn that was beautifully painted by his daughter, holding his firstborn grandchild; the unexpected pleasure of finding a coffee house snugged in an odd corner of the small town in which we were staying; late night talks with Johanna and Joe in a freezing cold attic; sharing a turkish royal with nephew Garrett; and watching a fire faerie being photographed in the North Carolinian dusk.
I want to be good, to be loving, despite me, despite other's behavior. It comes with great difficulty to exhibit such grace.
About Me
- tomirose
- I'm a wife of a wonderful man, mom to three awesome children. I like to laugh, encourage, and I would love to write. I think community is a wonderful thing, and I'd like people to be less cynical about church, not THE church, but the institution that we call the church. I think soul patches, piercings and tattoos are kinda cool; attitudes are not. Sometimes I lie in bed and think about weird things.. like why I like the taste of bubblemint gum, but despise the taste of our youngest son's bubblemint flavored toothpaste, or if our older children have already met their future spouses, how amazing it is that I've been married to the same man for thirty-two years, and why dryer lint looks the way it does. I hate having cold feet, being too hot, and stubbing my pinkie toe. I like to read pretty much anything but angsty poetry, well no I lied..not about the angsty poetry, but I don't much like to read biographies either. Laundry is the bane of my existence, along with cleaning out the refrigerator, and just plain cleaning.
1 comment:
well said. i'm happy you're my mom.
Post a Comment